In the laundrymat and I have had enough of non-mask wearing people who have their mask under their chin instead of over their nose AND mouth!
The variants had already been detected and spread, we are being forced to remain “truck camping” or “homeless” or “homeseeking” or “nomadic” or “off-grid” because people will NOT wear their masks, for one important reason. Not abiding by restrictions on gathering maximums, federal employees variety of contributions to ineptness as well as flagrant discarding instructions as if elitism spared you from COVID or your ethical and moral obligation to the people you served, are now serving or are still serving. All three legislative branches. That said, I move onward to the first event.
An intense and heated argument between Wolf and a woman at the laundrymat. I cannot relive it right now. It was intense, for each Wolf and I as well as for us. We repaired it and moved beyond fairly quickly in my opinion.
It lead right back to stagnation, I felt. A session in our Couple’s Therapy Journey (or story) explained how come after we explored it.
See, the shared trauma is where Wolf and I part most. The journey is shared, the dynamics are classic gaslighting (employing flying monkeys, in particular!); yet, I was fighting for any person to see me and find some avenue to a support while Wolf was consumed by his father. Bear in mind, I ended up in That Room as a result of Wolf helping me identify my father’s own emotional abuse which intensified over the years.
Normal reactions to abnormal circumstances or dynamics. Again, it came up in session.
What else came up?
Wolf’s anger. Wolf’s confusion over our marriage talk. Memory challenges, each of us, for different reasons. The triggers have changed. Or they are not remembered.
Who? How? When? Me? No, no, no. I finally spoke about it. A tooth pulling (figuratively) amd teeth gritting talking (literally), we opened it up enough to take it full circle in couples.
You, my dear. And, yes, me. Not in the ways you think, I suspect.
But, nope!. Detoured again. The Capital had been attack. The stress was enough of how far would the forty-fifth President go. Then, we saw. For me, it triggered trauma responses while I was holding on to my growth and progress for dear life! Literally and figuratively. Tasks were becoming challenging again.
Delve instead of Blame
Unresolved trauma, unresolved anger, unidentified functioning impairments or disorder or disease leaves gaps of missing information. Making meaning out of that is hard. Challenging as well when you think about it as a part in addition to a role. (Only one or the other may not be enough. I am unsure. A language difference Wolf and I are working through. Quite differently, I might add.)
Rusty & Wolf 2019 