For the first time in three years, I feel believed by a person outside of my treatment team. That is amazing and validating. It may seem ridiculous to you. It used to me also. Yet it is real and for once, I see other people seeing and believing what even the courts and law continueContinue reading “Someone is actively and consciously choosing to protect us”
Category Archives: Diary
A Transforming Season
Please be mindful, this site comes with Trigger Warnings throughout it. July 2020 through November 2020 taught me more than I could have imagined. I saw and felt pain in multiple ways. Pain was unrealistic, unreasonable, unresolved, nonresponsive, denied, misplaced, lied about, ignored, explosive, solitary, isolating, confusing, humiliating and more. So many times, alcoholism wasContinue reading “A Transforming Season”
Flashbacks have returned
Specifically, my emotional, maybe, mental, flashbacks. I do not have visual flashbacks, to my knowledge, for the most part. Whether that is a blessing or a curse, I really do not know. In terms of treatment options, visual flashbacks have more options available. They are, in some ways, easier to reframe for meaning to beContinue reading “Flashbacks have returned”
December 14, 2020
The weather is miserable here. Snow coming also. It is days such as this that serve as stark reminders, to me, of how little we have and how hard it really is to survive, homeless and traumatized. As in death, the world around you goes on. The same can be said of homelessness. While IContinue reading “December 14, 2020”
Our disorders
TRIGGER WARNINGS We both live with psychiatric diagnoses. Wolf’s are: ADHD, Anxiety, Trauma Stressors and Acute Stress Response or Disorder. (I need to check on this.) Mine are: Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar II and Borderline Personality Disorder. We are both survivors of developmental trauma, relational trauma and abuse. AbuseContinue reading “Our disorders”
Student Loan Crisis and Me
How many of us have heard, know someone or, yourself, in Student Loan Debt? Even I am aware of this burden many of us face. Before COVID, there were multiple reasons. The economy for one. Perhaps two and three as well. Other reasons: values changing, expectations alter, we grow up and steadfast or we demandContinue reading “Student Loan Crisis and Me”
Feelings of …
Shame. Embarrassment. Humiliation. Yes, these ugly and uncomfortable emotions. I have twenty-five plus years living with these emotions or feelings. They suck! Truly, I mean that. I personally have lived with these feelings for decades. It is odd to be aware of them yet not Consumed by them. Where I have been consumed is inContinue reading “Feelings of …”
November 2020
The month was interesting, enlightening and, I daresay, informative. I could not have expected it. Our treatment team did. They pointed it out as one of our strengths. An odd one, if I may say. The first posts will briefly summarize the transformative season I, in particular, had, before this month. This information will helpContinue reading “November 2020”
Where next?
This is a constant question we have! For a few reasons. We are homeless and have been since April 29, 2019. Still. We have been enduring abuse and trauma since the summer of 2017. Stalker. We are in a global pandemic where social distancing and wearing a face mask are too much for some peopleContinue reading “Where next?”
My First Blog Post
Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde. This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Rusty & Wolf 2019 