Mommy Issues Yeah, those! I endured both developmental and relational trauma from birth until I put physical space between us. (It snowballed downhill fast after I cut off contact with my biological parents.) So, yeah, I have parent issues. The more you learn, the more you will, hopefully, will understand. My second peer, whom IContinue reading “Let’s talk about”
Tag Archives: Feelings
Writing is tough
As a person who loves words, ideas and writing, I seem to struggle greatly with ACTUALLY writing. I know I am not alone in this. How do I conquer this? Great question and one I do not yet have an answer for. I do have thoughts, excuses, reasons and, well, probably somewhere in all ofContinue reading “Writing is tough”
Who has the right? Or am I in the wrong!
Finally, I have stopped lying to myself, with the supportive challenge “it” assistance from my therapist. What lie is this one? The one where I believed my shame, humiliation, self-stigma, self-loathing and pain are the primary reason I struggle with talking to my aunt.
At Capacity and It is OK
January 24, 2021 Dear Diary, I must recap our last few sessions. Two are our couple sessions. Two are mine and one is Wolf’s. A total of five (5). Together, they are enlightening, informative and help build healthy boundaries, for me. See, I am at my capacity. The place where ‘Enough is Enough, something mustContinue reading “At Capacity and It is OK”
A Great Question. Maybe.
My medication management provider, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, just asked me a question. She does not know what made her think of it. The question? If Wolf and I were not together, would each of us be living in the truck, or, would we be elsewhere? Whoa. Wow. Hm. Um. Wolf, possibly. Probably, couch surfingContinue reading “A Great Question. Maybe.”
Some things do not change
Even during a national emergency, in a global pandemic and I, for one, find a funny comfort in that. Albeit, that funny comfort pertains to a demoralizing and frustratingly humiliating appointment, that is, simply, par for the course when applying for SSDI or SSI. Seeing a Social Security Administration doctor A little while ago, Wolf’sContinue reading “Some things do not change”
We struggle with … repetitiveness
Each for different reasons. Likely, no shock there. For Wolf, it is a trigger. How is it a trigger? It reminds Wolf of his father’s relentless questioning every time he left. For years. That relentlessness can wear on a person. It did upon Wolf. As for me, it became so repetitive for me to repeatContinue reading “We struggle with … repetitiveness”
Showering: Luxury or Right?
Taking a shower is what I am talking about. Yes, a shower. Water from a faucet to keep yourself clean. Is the feeling of being clean, hygienically speaking, a luxury for those who have a place to live? Having a place to live does not automatically mean you are able and capable to pay yourContinue reading “Showering: Luxury or Right?”
Feelings of …, II
I hold feelings of shame, embarrassment and humiliation over my financial lifespan as well. It is terrible. As are, likely, any reason for feeling these three emotions. So, Rusty, write about them. What better time than when your stomach is grumbling, you realize you are out of coffee, it is cold, damp and lightly rainingContinue reading “Feelings of …, II”
“I can’t afford to dream right now.”
Those may have been the toughest words I have spoken in a while. How come? Because they flowed out of my mouth in conversation. They hurt to, both, hear and say. They did. How can one afford to dream when our home is a truck, our credit is poor, our shared trauma consumes me, andContinue reading ““I can’t afford to dream right now.””
Rusty & Wolf 2019 